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Wisdom Comes In MAny Ages, And Many Different Ways. Post Your Thoughts And Ideas Here For Those Who Might Not Take Them For Granted
Mar. 12th, 2005 @ 07:25 pm ...
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Standing in the middle of the empty room, i hear the voices. they sound so happy, and it makes me ache inside. i once belonged to that happiness. it once thrived within me. but now? now i fade away bace into the shadows of myself. i am longer welcome to that place. it is no longer my domain. i have outlived my time as friend, and i drift back to empty soul. if only i could die, but yet, i live to prove that i am strong enough to deal with the pain that you deal me... saying that you need me, then laughing at me when i am not there. do u not see that as your dreams are fulfilled, mine are crushed?
you seem so haughty, and praise yourself, you think that you have become so much more by the way i let you walk all over me, but you know nothing. i laugh at you, and as you feed my pain, and i hate you even more. i don't need you, i only want the pain. holy pain. the truth that even as much as i wish i could love you i don't because i will never trust you. You are my nemesis, my friend. you are nothing but an emotion that binds me to this plain. and i hate you for it. i have made thius mistake of love before, and i shall not copndemn myslef to it's eternal hell ever again. i am alone, and i love it.
but yet, if i love it so much, then why am i crying?
i want you to understand me, but you don't. you think i can take care of myslef, and i can, i honestly can, but what makes you think i want to?
you sit there, and you ask me not to leave, because you would feel alone, but yet yopu think nothig of the feelings which i hold. nothing of my life..... and nothing of my pain
you call yourself my friend
i call you death
death to emotion, because i refuse to feel the jealousy
death to the truth, because i know all of your lies,
death to your tears, as futile as they are to me
and that itself makes me ask.. why do you cry? do you honestly think that i will care? and when you make me laugh, do you honestly think i am no longer mad at you? you are a fool. i sit here and i write this, and you don't even know who i am, yet i bet you you would say you understand my pain. you understand nothing. you aren't like me. you can't be. i am one and alone, forever.
alone....because you call yourself my friend